Ostomy Surgery
Navigating the Emotional Journey
Overcoming Fears and Finding Confidence
Body Image & Self-Esteem
Adjusting to the changes that come with ostomy surgery can be very emotional, and that’s completely okay. Our body image is deeply tied to how we see ourselves, and when that image changes, it can take time to process and adjust.
Some may see ostomy surgery as the best option in a difficult situation, while others might struggle to accept it or hope that it's only temporary. Everyone processes these changes in their own way.
It is completely natural to feel a sense of loss and have questions like, How will this change me? What am I giving up? What will I gain? These thoughts can bring up a mix of emotions—sadness, worry, or even tears—but every feeling is a valid part of your healing journey. You're not alone in this, and with time and gaining knowledge, things will start to feel more manageable.
How ever you are feeling, know that your emotions are valid. Healing isn’t just about the body—it’s about the mind and heart, too. You deserve space to process and express your feelings in your own time.
Gaining confidence with an ostomy - Young Ostomy Alliance
Knowledge is Power
Understanding how your surgery affects your body and learning some basic anatomy can help you feel more in control. Before you leave the hospital, you will be shown how to care for your ostomy step by step and provided with some starter supplies to get you going.
It is a great idea to schedule a follow-up appointment with an ostomy nurse about 2-3 weeks after discharge. They can answer any questions and help with any challenges you might be facing. Taking small steps toward self-care will help build your confidence and restore your independence. With time and practice, managing your ostomy will become just another part of your daily routine.
After you leave the hospital, consider joining the Ostomy 101 New Patient Class—it’s a great next step in your journey! This free virtual class is led by an ostomy nurse and a fellow ostomate, giving you both expert advice and real-life experience. You'll gain practical tools and resources to help you navigate everyday life with an ostomy, from managing daily care
to getting back to the activities you love—whether it’s hobbies, sports, swimming, or travel. Plus, it’s a great way to boost your confidence and feel more prepared for this new chapter!
More about the Ostomy 101 New Patient Classes
Telehealth Ostomy Nurse Appointments
What does a normal stoma look like
Navigating Relationships
It’s natural to worry about how your ostomy might affect your relationships and whether others will see you differently. One of the biggest questions many people have is “How do I talk about my surgery? Who should I tell, and when?” The good news is that you get to decide what feels right for you. There’s no rush, and you don’t have to share more than you are comfortable with.
This is your personal journey. It’s okay to be selective about who you tell and how much you share. You might choose to confide only in close friends or family members who will support you throughout your recovery. The most important thing is to do what feels right for you.
It can be helpful to have a simple way to explain your surgery when needed. A brief statement like, "An ostomy is a surgical procedure that reroutes the bowel (or bladder)," can make it easier to share when you feel comfortable. You don’t have to go into details—just say what feels right for you!
Returning to work
Going back to work can bring up concerns about restroom access, interacting with coworkers, and feeling like people are paying extra attention to you.
It might be helpful for a few trusted coworkers to know about your situation, just in case of an emergency.
Some people also worry about job security or insurance coverage. If you run into challenges, don’t hesitate to reach out to healthcare professionals or connect with others who have navigated similar situations for advice and support.
Sexuality and Intimacy
Sexuality concerns are best talked about openly between you and your partner. Your partner may have worries simply because they don’t have enough information, so honest communication can help ease any anxieties. After all, intimacy is about being able to talk comfortably about even the most personal aspects of life, including bodily functions and sex. There are ostomy accessories that dress-up or de-emphasize the ostomy pouch if that is the direction you choose to go.
For those who are single, dating with an ostomy can bring additional questions. When to share this information depends on the relationship. Casual dates may not need to know, but if things progress toward intimacy, you may choose to have that conversation before becoming physically close.
Relationships & Intimacy - Young Ostomy Alliance
Sexuality & Intimacy - Dr Dr. Neilajan Nandi, UOAA
Connection
Feeling connected can make a big difference in your confidence and comfort with an ostomy. Joining a support group or chatting one-on-one with someone who’s already thriving with an ostomy can help you feel less alone. Plus, you’ll pick up practical, real-life tips and tricks that can make daily life easier!
To join the next support group meeting and find upcoming educational seminars, visit the Ostomy 101 Meeting and Events page.
To search for support groups visit the UOAA support group finder